from BNET
Imagine the sound of Crystal Gayle’s subdued voice singing her 1977 signature country ballad “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue” while seated before a coffin, or a funeral procession of 10 tow trucks rolling down city streets in honor of a deceased service- station owner.
Although the scenarios may seem unusual, they are quickly becoming the norm as the baby boomer generation nears death. Instead of more viewing rooms, many funeral directors have found they just need open minds.
“The baby boomer generation tends to want very personal attention,” said David J. Weber, Certified Funeral Services Professional and Maryland Funeral Directors Association spokesman. “They want … lots of attention, lots of details.”
That generation — defined as those born between 1946 and 1964 — is one that has made each decade its own. From “free love” in the 1970s, to asking for Harley-Davidson Motor Co. memorabilia to be displayed at a loved one’s funeral.
It’s a change — and a trend — which funeral directors are still getting used to.
David Walkinshaw, spokesman for the National Funeral Directors Association, said when he started in the death care business 20 years ago, “I pretty much knew what they were going to want.”
“Today, when I get that call, I have no idea what that family’s going to want, what that family’s going to need,” added Walkinshaw, who is the funeral director at Saville & Granna Funeral Home in Arlington, Mass., a Boston suburb. “As funeral directors, that’s something very new for us. In generations past, we really didn’t have to do that.”
Kelly Coates, spokeswoman for Maryland’s AARP, said perhaps the reason baby boomers want such personal attention is because they were the first generation of Americans to experience individual importance and self-awareness during Vietnam, Woodstock and the AIDS epidemic.
The AARP, which has surveyed and studied the generation, has found that 75 percent of boomers believe there is no right or wrong way to live life. Meanwhile, only 65 percent of those over the age of 55 follow the same belief, Coates said.
“And that could correspond with there is no right or wrong way to be buried,” she said.
Also, the AARP found that 40 percent of boomers feel strongly connected to religion, while 60 percent of those over age 50 feel strongly connected to religion, Coates said.
She explained that the generation also is less tolerant of a boring job even if it meets salary requirements.
“It would only go to support that they’re looking at all aspects of their life,” she said. “They prize family, friends, but they prize their work as an important part of their identity … and that doesn’t stop when one dies.”
Walkinshaw, who at 45 is a boomer, agreed in his own way.
“I think the baby boomer generation has bucked every trend there ever was,” he said with a laugh. “They looked at traditional funerals — at what had been done for mom and for dad — and they wanted something different.”
Weber, however, said he believes the personalization of funeral services nowadays has nothing to do with a generation, “but [with] people as a whole.”
In today’s society, “we tend to be individuals — much more so than our forefathers,” said Weber, funeral director at David J. Weber Funeral Homes in Baltimore.
“We are realizing that the purpose of a funeral is not only to mourn the loss of a loved one, but to celebrate that person’s life,” he said. “And every person’s life is different and every service should address the factors that are important to the deceased.”
Aside from changing their mentality, some funeral directors are taking additional steps to prepare for a demanding consumer.
One group of Maryland funeral homes has established its own Web site.
The Brinsfield-Echols Funeral Homes — with locations in Charlotte, La Plata and Leonardtown — operate a Web site, www.arehartecholsfuneral.com, that offers information about their homes, services and merchandise, as well as preplanning services, grief resources and obituaries.
“We recognize that every individual and family we serve has lived a life that is uniquely their own,” the site’s home page explains. “We take the time to learn about their lives and help them plan a funeral or memorial service that reflects the lifestyle and final wishes of their loved one.”
Surprisingly, the one change funeral homes are not making for baby boomers is larger facilities.
“They’ve been talking about this baby boomer bunch for about 15 years,” said Tim Fosbrink, funeral director at Johnson Funeral Home in Towson. “I think most funeral homes probably can handle it.”
It’s a sentiment shared by many death care professionals.
Ron Troyer, another NFDA spokesman, said that while modern funeral directors need to simply know their resources, “it doesn’t necessarily take more physical space or viewing rooms to do that.”
As an example, Troyer, who is also the manager of Kessler and Maguire Funeral Home in St. Paul, Minn., pointed to a service two weeks ago for a volunteer fireman.
For the funeral procession, Troyer and his staff had to produce fire trucks and tow trucks, as the deceased man was a volunteer firefighter and also owned the local service station; one of the trucks towed behind it the departed’s own vehicle.
“It was very touching,” Troyer said.
Doretha Hector, CSFP, mortician at Phillips Funeral Home in Baltimore, said many of the services her funeral home helps to arrange don’t include any allusion to religion.
“We’re having the services for the fishermen with the fishing rods,” she said, trying to hold back a chuckle.
The bottom line
“Baby boomers don’t act old,” said Hector, who is a member of the generation herself. “Our parents were old.”
Copyright 2002 Dolan Media Newswires
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserve
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