Conversation Katie Burns – Erin’s house for Grieving Children

Today I spent time speaking to Katie Burns of Erin’s House for Grieving Children in Fort Wayne. The first grief facility specifically for children in Indiana.We discussed the validity of my concept, specifics concerning developmental age and grief, bereavement group dynamics, other US facilities for grieving children, hands on tools for working with children, as well as experts in the field of childhood grief.

Notable points:

• Adults often use euphemisms in speaking about death to children.A loved one may be referred to as: having passed, gone to god or being asleep .This can be damaging to younger children.. especially those from 3- 5 who are at a stage of devolopment favoring concrete rather than abstract thinking. children of this age need to understand death as final. Real words for the event and directness of communication are important.
• There is no one language for grief though there may be commonalities.
• Religon and culture may affect individual groups in dealing with death but most children in counseling react within a similar realm.
• Death and the grief it brings are individual experiences. Each child and each adult will react somewhat differently. The relationship with a loved one will go from the physical realm to the spiritual, creating a new normal.
• Erin’s House seeks not to provide children with answers, but to reflect their individual concerns and issues so they themselves can come to a place where they can reinvest in their lives as compassionate individuals. No time frame is provided. the child leads for as long as they need to journey. “I wonder ” questions are part of the program in groups. Groups can be thought of as kids helping kids to heal themselves.
• Common developmental age groups are: 3-5, 6-9, 10-13, teen, adult.
• 3-5 year old children are visual, play oriented and less verbal. They have short attention spansand perfer colorful images and objects.
• 6-9 year old children want detailed facts such as: how did they die, where did they go, how does cremation work?
• Teens are most diffcult, searching for a way to be like others and be cool, while trying to handle difficult emotions.
• Erin”s House will provide a hands on aid tailored to children of different developmental ages. 3-5- coloring workbook 6-9 memory journal/scrapbook 10-13 memory journal
• Expert in childhood Grief-Alan Wolfelt
• Noted grief centers for children: Fernside Greiving center – Cinninatti, The Dougy center -Portland, Oregon ( the first children’s grieving center).
• Re my plan for a short movie as a therapy tool paired with a physical object: With younger children particularly important to keep their attention and keep them busy. A tie between the virtual image of a movie and a physical item to connect them to a therapist or group is viewed as important.
• Alternative idea – half formed on part re: “colorforms” based intereactive physical item.
• The movie should feel”light” not intimidating.. discussion of heavier issues can be triggered by the stimulation in a one to one or group environment and focused using the secondary tool.
• Where can this tool be most help ful in the course of a young child’s griefwork journey… in the beginning? as a springboard?
• Can the secondary tool take the working form of a game for group use?

~ by mnahum1 on July 6, 2009.